if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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