O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
