you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I supernannyed him into submission
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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