i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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