Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
