addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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