For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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