Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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