You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
