Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
