I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Randomize
