Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
