Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
did i just pee glitter
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
