i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
