Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
