College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
