Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
