I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just high enough for therapy.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
