i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
