so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
