This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Those nachos came to me in a dream
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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