The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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