My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
