North Korea, Best Korea!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I wish you could order shots online.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
