I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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