I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
