think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
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Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
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Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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