We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
