I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
