Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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