he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
