So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
