Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize