OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
