Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
