all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
