Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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