i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
