well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
