When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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