i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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