She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
