She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
