I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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