Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
