Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
