6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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