How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
