I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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