Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My ass is underappreciated
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
