One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
