He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
