i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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