somebody snuck up and got me drunk
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
