also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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