i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
