I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
