the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
