If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize