Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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