Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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